This post is addressed entirely to those of the readers who think they would benefit from more decisiveness and less hesitation in their daily life and work. So, those, who are 100% decisive and don't know what 'hesitation' means, can stop reading this right now and carry on doing other things.
Now, the rest of the readers, who are still paying attention, perhaps, will be pleased to find out that hesitation is quite common and starts developing from our early years as a protective mechanism which is intended to stop us from putting ourselves in danger.
For example, after touching something hot and getting a painful skin burn, most of children will pause and think before deciding if they should touch an unknown and potentially hot object. Or someone, who has experienced bullying, will hesitate when they need to start a conversation with a complete stranger, even if it's just a routine enquiry in a customer service department. This is how our survival instinct is taking care of us and it's fine.
Hesitation becomes a problem when it turns into a habit which stalls our decision-making processes. This might mean we never get to do something what we really want to do or even need to do for our own sake. Something that might be important.
The habit to hesitate is a bit like a loop: the more we hesitate, the less confident we become, the less confident we become the more we will hesitate, of course. For some people it can spiral out of control and lead to the situation where they let others decide for them what to do, what to like, what to say and what to think. It feels so much safer, doesn't it, not to be responsible for anything important. Like our own life...
But guess what, there is a way to overcome hesitation and become more efficient in decision-making in any area of life.
I like to think of it as a four-step trick.
Step 1. Whenever I become aware that I am unnecessarily pausing or stalling my action because I am hesitating and can't decide, I focus my eyes on something in front of me or close my eyes if it is safe to do so and take a deep breath. This simply helps to reframe the mind.
Step 2. I ask myself just one simple question: "What or who is stopping me?" If there is no law that says I can't do it, I say to myself: 'There is no reason whatsoever that would stop me from doing this now'. Usually this process takes only a few seconds in my mind.
Step 3. I decide on an action which might be saying that 'Hello', schedule an appointment, send an email and so on.
Step 4. I go ahead and act upon that decision. Job done! Shoulder-pat and smile.
So, what is stopping you to test this trick today? Who knows, it might work for you too.